A New Direction

Chisholm Journal: Simplicity & Smart Money

I’ve been writing this publication on and off since 2021. It’s helped me develop my voice and purpose in business and even life. Much of my previous writings concentrated on the various facets of financial planning and investment strategies, hoping to help you navigate the often-confusing world of personal finance.

Over the last couple of months, I've been reviewing the reader engagement and I have found the Stacks with more personal stories or deeper insights into life beyond just financial planning were read by more people and more often. Additionally, my interactions with readers after a post that went beyond the typical how-to financial planning post were most enjoyable. In light of this feedback, I’ll be writing more of that type of content.

For those of you who really enjoyed the financial advice-specific content, do not fear. I will continue to send out the Weekly Rewind with a list of education videos, blogs, and podcasts focusing solely on strategies you can implement to achieve financial success.

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Let’s Ditch “Networking” for Community Building

Earlier this month we hosted a July 4th party—it was a fantastic success if I do say so myself. Our backyard was full of over 50 people; our North Country neighbors, friends, and church family. Here is the only video/photo I took because I was so busy hosting and socializing! (Multiple American Flag cakes are a sign of a very festive July 4th party!)

What a difference four years of community building makes…

In mid-2020, with the world feverish with COVID and all the panic that came with it—I sold my condo in Coronado, California, left a wonderful life I had built over almost 15 years to settle in a sleepy village on Lake Ontario—a village in which I had never set foot.

My first night in Sackets Harbor was spent with my dog Lucy on a blow-up bed, a thunder and lightening storm howling outside—something very unfamiliar and a little eerie to a Southern California resident. I remember falling asleep and wondering what I had bitten off this time. Having nothing but what filled my suitcase and my Little Boo Lucy, that next morning we got up and wandered into the village.

I want to claim that the second we walked the three blocks to the main street and I saw the quaint historic buildings and beautiful summertime flora I knew this was home—but that would be a lie. Very disoriented, hungry, and desperate for coffee, we wandered into a local eatery, had some grub, and I met my first village friend—Jaime. Who knew almost four years later we would be hosting Jaime and her family in our backyard!

The rest of that day is a blur, I think we walked around the village—killing time because the moving truck was not arriving until later that week. I know I didn’t have a total meltdown about what I had just done, but I also know I had a lot of self-talk about how it would all work out—it always does.

This brings me to today—where I can now say Sackets Harbor feels more like home than any other place I’ve lived. But more than that—something about this place changed me—continues to work on my soul in ways I still don’t understand.

My journey was both physical and mental. It took me three thousand miles, and four years to realize something profoundly obvious: the key to feeling at home wasn't just about adapting to a new place, but about building genuine connections.

For years, I believed that networking was the cornerstone of building a successful business; and that a successful business was the cornerstone of a successful life. I'd attend countless events, exchange business cards, and cultivated a vast array of professional contacts. While this approach had its merits, I've come to realize that community building—though more time-consuming and effort-intensive—offers a much deeper sense of purpose and satisfaction.

Cultivating relationships through shared experiences and working towards common goals that improve your immediate community build deeper and more meaningful relationships; your neighbors and fellow community members go beyond being transactional contacts or potential clients, but as fellow contributors to building an enduring future.

As it turns out, through involving myself in the community around me, I learned that a successful business or financial life is not the mark of a fruitful life, but is just one facet, with a larger one being the relationships you nurture.

And I’ve only barely touched the surface. Forming a strong community is a lifelong project, and if you do it right, only your children will see the full fruition of your efforts. For anyone reading this, here is my advice and encouragement if you are looking for “more” from your relationships—and specifically those ones in your geographic region.

Like anything in life, it’s about doing the tedious things routinely. No one builds a community without being recognized and respected for reliability and consistency. This takes time—attending one or two meetings of a local organization—such as a PTA or Chamber of Commerce is not sufficient. In fact, it will mostly feel like you’re pushing papers around and being forced to go to pointless meetings for months or years at a time. This is how you slowly prove you are a thoughtful member of the organization, can be trusted and start to build real relationships—time and doing the humdrum business of life together.

Putting yourself out there is work. And you have to do it even when you don’t want to. Along similar lines, you have to attend the things. Make the plans, invite the people you hardly know—even when it’s awkward and you would rather stay home. The evening before our July 4th party, I met four new people in town at our local wine night—and invited them to come on over the next day. Sure, maybe that was weird and forward—but they came, we had a wonderful time, and now I know another few people in my community.

On this same note, my best friend in Sackets Harbor is someone I “decided” was going to be my friend without her input. She is a local shop owner and after months of going into the shop and chatting her up, inviting her to the most random things, I wore her down! Part of the time I worried she thought I was stalking her (which maybe I was, but harmlessly). You have to make decisions like “I’m going to keep inviting people until they say no.” That’s when the magic happens.

You will build the most amazing friendships with the most unlikely suspects because people are a lot more interesting and thoughtful than you imagined. One way I started to build community is I found a few ladies I thoroughly enjoyed, invited them over for a monthly dinner, and then told them to invite any other women in the village they knew. Now we have a monthly girls’ group that includes at least 10 women from month to month. Anytime you get a group together like this there will be people you wouldn’t have befriended otherwise—especially in our very polarized world. But, several of these women, who I know I would never have connected with have become among my favorite in the group to chat with about anything and everything. Having an open mind and accepting that building your community is way more important than your political stance on whatever the current thing is not only required, but by doing this you meet the most amazing people!

Bottom line, being an active player in a community, a contributor who helps grow and direct it is painstakingly hard, time consuming, and full of rejection. But just like anything worth doing in life—having a family, building your wealth, starting a business—it starts with one step, takes gumption, and is worth every challenge you face. So what are you waiting for—there is a whole world waiting to be connected.